And my biggest fear, the one that has been my biggest fear since starting this process, is slowing taking over. I have to leave Mc for 15 days. 15 days people. I'm really struggling. Could you willing leave this face for that long?
I didn't think so.So anyway, I"m strugglin. Last night, after putting her to bed, I just cried. I think I have that pregnant mom, 9 month jitter. How is our family going to change? How will this affect Mc, how will it affect my marriage, etc.
I know we are following God's will and I know it isn't supposed to be easy, but I guess I've just stuffed this part of the journey into the back of my mind and been more focused on Alba.... on getting her here, on healing her, on loving her. Now, though, I'm having to face the facts. this is happening, it has to be done, and Mc will be fine. But, that doesn't make it any easier.
So, please be in prayer for our family over the next few weeks especially and then if you remember, the months that follow as well. I know in my heart that everything is going to be fine. God keeps whispering in my ear and we keep going forward together. But, my head is screaming something different!
Gees, if I could just get myself out of the way and let Him work, everything would be fine!!!!!! :)
2 comments:
Rachel, I can totally relate. But Russ (who was 4 when Bella came home) handled it beautifully. Yes, it will be a tough road for all of you once she's home but it will be SO worth the cost when she finally becomes a member of your family. And what a great example of obedience for your sweet girls. I'm praying for you all!!
Jamie Lambert
I don't think you really need anyone to reassure you...I think you have that part under control. But I do think you need to know that people are praying, and we are.
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