Alba's 1st (3rd) Birthday!

Alba Lee is 3! We decided to move her birthdate from the Jan 8 date the government gave her to something that seems more appropriate and more plausible (sister weighed less than 6 lbs when they found her, so no cahnce she was 3 months old).  So, celebrating on April 5th, 3 days prior to her original abandonment date seems to make MUCH more sense!

She decided early on that she'd like to have a Minnie Mouse party and since nails, hair and makeup are her lifeblood, a Minnie's "Bowtique" Party seemed very appropriate!

She loved the party and being the center of attention!  Here are some pics form the night...

Love this last one.... she partied so hard she cashed out, dress and all!  Sweet Baby!!!!

Alba's First Beach Trip

For those of you that know us, you know we're a beach family.  If I never went anywhere else for vacation it would be fine.  I could live at the beach.  Give me sand and salty air anyday.  I swear I think I might have saltwater in my veins.  You get the picture, right?  AND, Mc's the same way.

So, this year when we decided to go to the beach for Spring Break I was a little concerned.  Remember, Alba is wigged out by water.  She tolerates a bath, but getting her face or hair wet sends her into emotional overdrive.  Picture someone's reaction while being stabbed.... that's her reaction to water in the face.  NO JOKE.

I built it up for weeks, "Alba's a mermaid.  Mermaid's get in the water.  Mermaids LOVE the ocean and the pool.  Mermaids get their faces wet."  She played right along telling me all of the stuff she was going to do at the beach.... including get her face wet.  In the back of my head I was of course saying, "yeah. right kid.  That'll be the day.  I'll just settle for you not completely freaking out everyday and making me stay in the room 24-7."

So, we get down there and guess what?  She's a Phillips.  Love it, loved it!!!!  She begged to go to the beach everyday, she got in the ocean with Mimi for 30-45 minutes at a time.  She got in the pool, she paddled around with her little swimmies on.  She was awesome.  She even tolerated water in her face.  I mean, she's not gonna go out and dunk herself under water anytime soon, but who cares!?!??!  The kid didn't make our vacation miserable and she did better than I would have imagined possible.  I'm so proud of her!!!!

 First Step on the Beach

 Sisters First Day!

 Memaid

 Big Swimmer

 Sunset

Bye Bye Beach!

Who Knew 6 Months Could Change SO Much?!?!?

Happy 6 Month Gotcha Day Baby Girl!!!! You've come a LONG way!!!!

Monday, September 19th, 2011


Monday, March 19th, 2012

6 Months

"A blessing is not always easy, painless, simple, comfortable or expected." -Mary Southerland


6 months ago today I left my oldest baby behind to go to China and pick up our newest family addition. I had no idea what I was in for....

I hope the brutal honesty of this blog doesn't offend anyone. But, I want you to know what it's really like. Or, atleast what it was like for me....

It's taken me this long just to get a grip on all the changes that have happened in our family, how adoption has changed each of us, changed the family dynamic, and changed my relationship with Christ. It's taken me 6 months to be able to sit at this computer and blog.

You have no idea what it's going to be like...

You get this child that has 2 years with someone else (Alba was fostered). She has their traits, their characteristics, their rules and morals. She doesn't understand why you get upset when she disobeys and she doesn't understand why she can't have her way ALL OF THE TIME. She wants to control everything because honestly, she can't control anything. She's been ripped away from the only home she's ever known and she doesn't understand why. She has night terrors. She hits. She screams. She purposely pees on herself. She doesn't like to be in a room with the door shut. She loses her mind and acts like you are burning her with fire when you wash her hair. And, it's kinda hard to love her through it.

It seems like it would be easy right? You know the child's background... you know where they came from... you've read the books and realize this behavior is normal... you're prepared. But when they are screaming bloody murder and slapping you across the face, all that goes out the window.

You have no idea how many times I've pleaded with God.... please, let me see what you see. Help me to love her the way you love her. Help me to feel the same way about her as I do about McHaney. I just being honest people. It's been hard. And sometimes, I felt like God wasn't answering my pleas quickly enough. It was a tough 4 or 5 months...

But guess what? God is SOOOO faithful. I cry as I sit here typing, remembering days when I thought, "what have I done?" Then, when the holidays were over and things calmed a bit, I felt my heart start to shift. Things were changing. And now, I realize full well that God has answered all of my prayers.

There is no difference between Alba and Mc in my heart anymore. The love I feel for each of them is the same. I feel what I can only describe as redemption for my hard human heart. God heard my prayers and was faithful.

I'm able to see Alba the way God sees her. My eyes are no longer fogged over with selfishness and dread. I love her full on. She's my baby. God made her for me. She's funny, and quirky, and bossy, and full of life. She loves me more than anything else on earth, except maybe french fries. She's forgiven my faults and shortcomings and accepts me as her Mama even when I fail her.

And that my friends, is unconditional mommy daughter love. That is a blessing.

Thank you God for answering my prayers and for never leaving me even when I doubted...