Alba's First Beach Trip

For those of you that know us, you know we're a beach family.  If I never went anywhere else for vacation it would be fine.  I could live at the beach.  Give me sand and salty air anyday.  I swear I think I might have saltwater in my veins.  You get the picture, right?  AND, Mc's the same way.

So, this year when we decided to go to the beach for Spring Break I was a little concerned.  Remember, Alba is wigged out by water.  She tolerates a bath, but getting her face or hair wet sends her into emotional overdrive.  Picture someone's reaction while being stabbed.... that's her reaction to water in the face.  NO JOKE.

I built it up for weeks, "Alba's a mermaid.  Mermaid's get in the water.  Mermaids LOVE the ocean and the pool.  Mermaids get their faces wet."  She played right along telling me all of the stuff she was going to do at the beach.... including get her face wet.  In the back of my head I was of course saying, "yeah. right kid.  That'll be the day.  I'll just settle for you not completely freaking out everyday and making me stay in the room 24-7."

So, we get down there and guess what?  She's a Phillips.  Love it, loved it!!!!  She begged to go to the beach everyday, she got in the ocean with Mimi for 30-45 minutes at a time.  She got in the pool, she paddled around with her little swimmies on.  She was awesome.  She even tolerated water in her face.  I mean, she's not gonna go out and dunk herself under water anytime soon, but who cares!?!??!  The kid didn't make our vacation miserable and she did better than I would have imagined possible.  I'm so proud of her!!!!

 First Step on the Beach

 Sisters First Day!

 Memaid

 Big Swimmer

 Sunset

Bye Bye Beach!

Who Knew 6 Months Could Change SO Much?!?!?

Happy 6 Month Gotcha Day Baby Girl!!!! You've come a LONG way!!!!

Monday, September 19th, 2011


Monday, March 19th, 2012

6 Months

"A blessing is not always easy, painless, simple, comfortable or expected." -Mary Southerland


6 months ago today I left my oldest baby behind to go to China and pick up our newest family addition. I had no idea what I was in for....

I hope the brutal honesty of this blog doesn't offend anyone. But, I want you to know what it's really like. Or, atleast what it was like for me....

It's taken me this long just to get a grip on all the changes that have happened in our family, how adoption has changed each of us, changed the family dynamic, and changed my relationship with Christ. It's taken me 6 months to be able to sit at this computer and blog.

You have no idea what it's going to be like...

You get this child that has 2 years with someone else (Alba was fostered). She has their traits, their characteristics, their rules and morals. She doesn't understand why you get upset when she disobeys and she doesn't understand why she can't have her way ALL OF THE TIME. She wants to control everything because honestly, she can't control anything. She's been ripped away from the only home she's ever known and she doesn't understand why. She has night terrors. She hits. She screams. She purposely pees on herself. She doesn't like to be in a room with the door shut. She loses her mind and acts like you are burning her with fire when you wash her hair. And, it's kinda hard to love her through it.

It seems like it would be easy right? You know the child's background... you know where they came from... you've read the books and realize this behavior is normal... you're prepared. But when they are screaming bloody murder and slapping you across the face, all that goes out the window.

You have no idea how many times I've pleaded with God.... please, let me see what you see. Help me to love her the way you love her. Help me to feel the same way about her as I do about McHaney. I just being honest people. It's been hard. And sometimes, I felt like God wasn't answering my pleas quickly enough. It was a tough 4 or 5 months...

But guess what? God is SOOOO faithful. I cry as I sit here typing, remembering days when I thought, "what have I done?" Then, when the holidays were over and things calmed a bit, I felt my heart start to shift. Things were changing. And now, I realize full well that God has answered all of my prayers.

There is no difference between Alba and Mc in my heart anymore. The love I feel for each of them is the same. I feel what I can only describe as redemption for my hard human heart. God heard my prayers and was faithful.

I'm able to see Alba the way God sees her. My eyes are no longer fogged over with selfishness and dread. I love her full on. She's my baby. God made her for me. She's funny, and quirky, and bossy, and full of life. She loves me more than anything else on earth, except maybe french fries. She's forgiven my faults and shortcomings and accepts me as her Mama even when I fail her.

And that my friends, is unconditional mommy daughter love. That is a blessing.

Thank you God for answering my prayers and for never leaving me even when I doubted...

Mmm, Scabies!

So, many of you have seen that I posted a few times about this horrible rash Alba came to us with.... it was pretty nasty. (that seems to be a theme here.)

Well, her foster parents said it was a "seasonal allergy" rash and sent medicine, but it was all in chinese and I have no idea what it was with the exception of a little calamine lotion. We gave it to her as instructed, but she was getting worse instead of better. She was crying, itching, and on top of the mourning, I just couldn't stand to see her in that much pain and I had a mama's intuition something wasn't right.

The last day in province I asked about going to the doctor and our guide said if we could stand to wait until we got to Guanzghou it would be better b/c there would be a western doctor with western medicine. So, we decided to wait and Holt (our agency which I cannot recommend highly enough) made us an appt. for as soon as we arrived here yesterday. They swept us out of the lobby as soon as we arrived and got us in to see the western doctor (who is Chinese by the way) right before he left for the day.

Scabies he said. Well, actually he said it was a seasonal allergy but that she had obviously had a previous case of scabies that they only treated about halfway. So, when the seasonal allergy came out it was pushing all those dead scabies to the surface. yummy!!!! The good thing is they're dead, so they aren't contagious. So, now were treating our daughter for skin mites (scabies meds, allergy meds and an antihistamine).

Not sure I saw that one coming, but you gotta go with the flow, ya know!?!?!?

The Finding Place

I know I have days of blogging to catch up on. My sweet friend Leigh Ann even told me last night, "We need a new blog update!" But, I've honestly been so physically and mentally exhausted at the end of each day that I usually just go to bed right after Miss Alba. Last night I even sat down and tried to make myself do it, but I couldn't.

This morning though, 5:30am my time, I've been inspired.

Yesterday, we went to see Alba's "Finding Place" as they call it. This is the place where she was originally found after her abandonment. The original report said she was "found on the side of the ----- road with nothing", but the report we got when we officially adopted said she was sound at the "community service station on the side of the ------ rd." So, I was hopeful. Maybe her bio parents did care enough to leave her somewhere important, somewhere people would definitely see her and help her.

We traveled outside of the city about 30 minutes.... the area we were traveling through was nice and the university is there and a train station, so I started immediately forming ideas in my mind about where she came from, who her parents were, had they been students? Did they travel in from another city so as not to be caught? I don't think so.

First of all the train station is being built, so it would not have been active at the time of her abandonment. Secondly, after going through this pretty nice area, we turned down a road and I looked at DP and said "I hope this isn't it...." The driver pulled over got out, and our guide said.... "this is the rd., we just have to find the service station. He's going inside to ask where it is." My stomach turned. All I could think was Oh My God, Oh My God. I'm telling you, it was nasty.

Long story short, after asking about 5 people where it was and driving up and down this dirty road, we concluded that the road is actually the abandonment sight and she was taken to the community SS to meet the police when she was found.

I just started crying. I looked down at this precious child, she's given me heartache and fits over the last 4 days, she's made me happy and warmed my heart as well. I already love her so much. How could her bio parents, after 3 months or even 3 days, walk out onto a street (that was so dirty and dusty our driver asked us to roll up the windows as we were driving down it) in the middle of the slums and drop her on the side of a filth infested road? No belongings, no chance of a future....

It's really been bothering me since we went. I just look at that face and think, "you've come a long way kiddo..." I don't understand it. I really really can't comprehend how they could do that. But, maybe what they did isn't the point. Maybe what I'm going to do from here on out is what really matters.

This morning I woke up thinking about it. In that quiet place where only God can be, I started talking to Him. We've had alot of good one sided conversations while I've been here, but this morning He spoke to me. As, I was laying in bed telling Him everything I just told you, the story of Christ's birth came to me... the Son of God was born in a manger, the place where animals lived, there was filth everywhere and it smelled, it was probably just as unsanitary as this; bugs, dust, poop, the works. But, He grew up to be the Savior of the world. If Jesus came into the world with such lowly beginnings, what give me the right to expect more?

I've realized this morning that where you come from and how you got here isn't as important as what you do with it. I've always believed Alba Lee is destined for great things (God planned for her to be ours before she was ever born, so I know he has a plan for her life.) I believe both my girls are and that they will both grow up to serve Christ in some capacity.

Such different beginnings, one born with a silver spoon, one born with nothing, yet I feel God's hand on both of their lives. Who would ever think that two children coming into the world so differently would have the exact same opportunities to give and grow God's love in others? To be and do whatever it is they are called to do for the Kingdom....

Who would have ever thought God would give me the opportunity and resposibility to give and grow God's love in them?

Better

Today was better.... still very hard, but it was better.... she passed out completely naked after her bath.... so cute. I'll post more later, but here are some pics from our day....

AMAZING art presented to us by the orphanage.... a gift. Seriously, one of the first times I cried... it was BEAUTIFUL!!!! Can't wait to hand it in her room.....

Celebratory Dinner with Everyone

Alba and Mama at the Park

Deda signs the official adoption paperwork (today)

Gotcha Day

Well, it definitely wasn't like it is in the pictures....

We arrived at the civil affairs office here in China at 9:30am and I could see her screaming thru the glass walls in the lobby from our van. We went in to get her and she was wigging out... I couldn't even hold her b/c she's so strong! DP had to try to hold her and comfort her, but to no avail. Other people's children were fine, on at least whimpering silently, but Miss Alba lost her freaking mind.

We were there about an hour and a half and she never quit screaming, she never quieted down and she never gave up. She's a Phillips. She's definitely got Deda's temperament. :) Once we got to the van she passed out, then woke up 30 minutes later screaming. And so the day went....

Lots of screaming for her grandmother, crying and repeating herself over and over, serious grieving, but it's natural and healthy, just hard to watch. She also has a HORRIBLE rash on her lower half which they said was a seasonal allergy rash, but I don't know. SO, I think that made it even worse. AND, the translator said, "I don't know how they raise her. She raise differently. She spoiled."

awesome.

At one point she woke up from one of her passout sessions screaming her guts out and dragging me to the door. She wanted me to take her home. I told her we could go outside or go to the park, but she could not go to nana... mama and baba are home now. She agreed, I thought, but as soon as we got outside she was on a mission...

I mean, you should have seen her, this little two year old dragging me by the hand walking around, she was determined. When we got back to the hotel, all hell broke loose again. She thought she was getting to go home and when it didn't happen she was mad all over again.

After trying to console her over and over and saying "Boo Nana" which means "No Grandmother" (we had already had the translator explain several times that grandmother was taing care of her until her American mother and father could get here to take care of her. Now we are here and nana's job is done. Mama and Baba will never leave you , they are your forever family.") I said "Boo Nana" very firmly and walked off. I just picked up the markers and stickers and started coloring. She calmed a bit and accepted she wasn't going to get what she wanted, for that night at least. Then, it was bath time. I had to wash her b/c she was stinky. I did it as quickly as I could, she screamed some more, and then i got her out... when that happened, a switch flipped. She let me put medicine on the rash and she liked it when I "blew on it" :) Then she finally ate. First thing she had eaten all day. Guess what she ate? Baby puffs. We had no idea what she would want and spent about $50 on every noodle and fruit on the menu so she could pick what she wanted. She wouldn't touch it. But then, the can of generic walmart baby puffs I brought from home made her happy. She ate 3/4 of a can telling me the whole time how good they were... then she spoke to me without screaming for the first time and she slept!

She slept from about 9-4 then again from about 4:30 until 8. The poor baby had to have been exhausted.

Anyway, she just woke up and is staring us both down, so I better go. But, I wanted to update you on what's happening. If I could sum up the first 24 hrs in one word I would say "scream". I wish it could be something more poetic, or insightful. But, when I think about it, that's all I can hear. It's the only word that come to mind.

But, this face is definitely worth it....